Once upon a time, I was an intern at Intern Co. Inc. We specialized in hiring interns to do intern things, at intern salaries. Common tasks included cleaning the toilet, being called in the backroom to be yelled at by the boss, and jacking off to Jeff the Killer porn (praise be unto him?). So anyway I was working in the intern shack of the intern wing of the intern building when I got a VHS tape suspiciously labeled 'the lost episode of The Interns'. I turned it on and there was an intern. He was killed by another intern. Highly realistic gore flew everywhere. Then the killer said "I will be killing you next, (my name here)." I was scared. I left my job. Now I drive a truck.
I am typing this from a Denny's.
P.S. You're Going to Eat Here Next